A couple of people around the webiverse, such as Gary Veynerchuk, have brought up the idea of personal branding as of late. It has really got me thinking about mine. As I look around mostly in the world I see so many people trying to fit themselves into an identity that just seems odd to me. Against their nature sort of thing. I hope it’s not because now I’m old and closed-minded. Those are things I rail against on a regular basis, but who knows maybe I am becoming a curmudgeon. I guess I should explain a little. This topic has been noodling around in my head for about a week and I guess I was just looking for inspiration. Anyway, I was getting gasoline here in rural Florida just outside of Tampa and this kid drives up in a big hoompty blasting his hardcore music. I dunno, to me it just seemed…. stupid. He has no idea of the trials that the rapper was spewing. Hell, the rapper more than likely has no idea of the trials he was rapping about. Sure, at one time it was the poetry of the streets. Now, it’s just another easily marketable type of music. Sorry. It is.

Anyway, this made me wonder how I see myself and how others see me as well. For more than a decade now, I have been “Steve the DJ” or “DJ Steve” or whatever name that was thrown on me to differentiate me from the ‘other’ Steve’s. That has really been it really. Other than that I was “Kristen’s husband, Steve”. Other than that, I don’t really know what I was. Since I am no longer the latter, I don’t really want to be the former either. I have done it long enough. It has run it’s course. Now it’s time for something new. What, I’m not completely sure. I have some good ideas. All based in this space. So what am I now? Just another webspace wannabe? Perhaps. But it’s time to create my new dream. Stake my claim. Plant my flag. Mark my turf. (I can’t think of anything other cliche’s.) Take my passions and combine them in a way that’ll blow your mind. (At least for a minute anyway.) I think I like this for my personal brand: Ultimate Steve, Emperor of the Omniverse. Hey, I gotta dream big!

Life is serious enough. LIGHTEN UP!

Seriously, there is a ton in our lives that weighs heavy upon us. If you’ve been reading previous posts, you know I am no different. Between being busy with work, kids & dogs (in my case), being constantly plugged in via computer, phone, IM, texting & TV and the major league curveballs that life throws at us at the least opportune times, life is damn hard. We, however, have to take the reigns and take control of ourselves. we need to not be so serious. Be silly at times. If you don’t, the top of your head may pop off from the pressure. Take time for fun. It will do wonders for your outlook and mood. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. I KNOW you’re already too busy. What brings me to this topic is that a “real world” friend of mine is also a “friend” on Plurk, a microblog has taken to doing a daily “plurk” called D.O.D.D. “Dumb Office Dare of the Day”. Today’s is: “Speak like an old-time gangster (think James Cagney) by adding “see!” to the end of phrases and sentences.” Yeah it seems kind of stupid but I guarantee you it’s FUN. Find something small it doesn’t have to be huge and time consuming. Make yourself smile. Make someone else smile. Make your universe fun. Life is too damned serious. LIGHTEN UP!

I find myself in a bit of a conundrum. This blog started off, in my head at least, as a repository for all things me. That means EVERYTHING I am into and doing. I now feel that this blog has become something else. A little heady, maybe even thought provoking (In my grand mind, anyway.). And as such I have been striving to stay on that path but am not sure that’s what I want THIS blog to be. Since it is still in it’s fledgling stages and let’s be honest, how many people are actually reading this…. YET, should I start a new blog continuing along this line and put UltimateSteve.com back on it’s original track. Let me know what you think.

Is anyone writing the great american novel any more? Does anyone even aspire to? With the writers of the Web 2.0 documenting their musings and their lives in blogs almost daily who has the time? Who will tell the tale of our time? At the end of it all will our story be just a digital collection of ones and zeros? A rounded up collection of the millions of blogs, bound and fed to the masses as the tale of the whatever number great dynasty this is? How will we be remembered? Will we be remembered?

Just a quick note to all of my friends out there: Have a fun and safe holiday for our nation’s birthday. While you are with your friends and family, take a quick inventory of what is going on around you and be thankful and happy for all you have. Tell them all you love them and then go blow something up!

Where to find inspiration? That is my question for this particular post. I know, I know, you can find inspiration everywhere. That is, until you are actually looking for it. (Much like trying to find something to write about for a blog post.) Personally, I tend to believe that inspiration is Divine. Not to say by God, although I guess you definitely take that from the term. I’m not exactly a religious person. More spiritual if anything. I mean inspiration is more “other-worldly” in my view. It happens when it happens. That said, I want to know how those of you (of us) who have to be inspired daily in your life whether it be for your job, blog, hobby, whatever get your inspiration. This is my new blog and it is something that I will endeavor to do 5 days a week. Not just mundane things that I KNOW will go here but posts that say something or will be thought provoking. That, for a newbie in the blogosphere, will be daunting but I will do my best to deliver something good for all. Anyway, back to the question, how do you do it?

You. know, I’m sure one day I’ll stop lamenting on my failed marriage (I know some friends wish I would.) but today is just not that day. I am only going to touch on it a bit though. Today is out 9th anniversary. We’re not officially divorced yet so it is what it is. So far, I am doing ok. Of course, it is only 8:43 A.M.

I slept fairly well, for me anyway, with about 4 or so good hours. I awoke to the song “Rise Above This” by Seether in my head. It’s a good song and does inspire me. I then headed to one of my microblogs where I got a very nice answer to yesterday’s question. TwilaMarie is someone I don’t really know. We have only crossed in the micro-verse less than a handful of times. She was nice enough to post this: “it’s knowing people like YOU who motivate me everyday,,,,, good people, good conversations, good times… it makes for a good life”. Obviously that made me feel good, even on today of all days.

That brings me to the “WHAT & WHY”of this post. What motivates me, at least to go on if nothing else, is you, my friends. Whether you be in the “tubes” or in the physical realm, I thank the heavens for you. My buddy just last week texted me to say he was looking at old photos and he just wanted to tell me he loved me. Now he isn’t the emotional sort so that made me feel extra good. I had 3 different people call me from the opposite coast just because they wanted to not because they knew what today was. I see, talk to, text, tweet, plurk all kinds of terrific people everyday. YOU are the reason I get up again when I get knocked down. (Thanks, Chumbawumba.) Today is going to be a rough day I have no doubt. But because of all of my friends, my family I’ll “Rise Above This” for at least one more day.

Do yourself and those you care about a favor. Call, text, or IM them today to tell them that you love them. Feels awesome to say and even better to hear.

(I was told it would be a bad idea to say it to her today. I have a hard time thinking it’s ever a bad idea to say or hear that. For what it’s worth, if you ever read this, I love you.)

I’ve been thinking lately about motivation (or lack thereof). Living in this Web 2.0 space we see people like Gary Vaynerchuk and C.C. Chapman who seem to be hyper-motivated (especially Gary) and successful. You think “How, oh how could I ever be that motivated”? Especially if you’re not really a very driven person. In Gary’s case, I think he would say, “Do what you love and you’ll love what you do.” Of course, I am just simplifying what I take from him.

Anyway, I am trying to more apply this to my specific case. I haven’t always been the most motivated person. Between that and the reeling of my new life being forced on me, I am trying to figure things out. Before I wasn’t too motivated. I went to work at a job that I didn’t like and spent time doing things with my wife. My wife was what got me excited. To me, she was a joy to be with. She did many interesting things. Much of which I helped start her towards and still helped with her day to day. I had many ideas but lacked on the follow through. Then all of a sudden, BAM!, she’s gone. Now what do I do? I did what many people in this sitch do, I lay down and cried for WAY too long. After that I found a support network, threw myself into the 2.0 webspace and tried to get lost in that. Trying to heal but not getting anything accomplished. Through my support network (It was supposed to be about getting her back.), they teach that having it going on on your own is attractive. Sure enough, I bet it is. I am trying getting out more, doing different things and working on my business ideas to get out of my current job. Here is the problem, when she doesn’t even look back at me and the support thing isn’t working, I lose my motivation. I am back to just existing. Going through life but not really living it. I am working on finding motivation to go on making a even better life but it is hard.

Last night I was in the webspace talking to some people I know, and some I didn’t, trying to find out what motivates them. I got some answers but not as much as I would have liked. I got answers like: “My 5 kids.”, “My dog.”, “Overcoming challenges.”, “Addiction.”, “To seek knowledge.”, “Coffee.”, “Other people’s respect and esteem, and being helpful.” <– She thought that made her sounds like a pansy. What does a flower sound like?–, “Fear.”, “Just to see what happens.”. Now that last one was an answer to a related question, “What motivates you to get out of bed?”. All of those answers were good. Some may have been knee-jerk but still good.

While I am in search of my own motivation and trying to follow Gary V’s lead. I pose the same questions to you. What motivates you? What gets you excited about life so much that you can’t wait to get going in the morning. I’d love for you all to comment back. Throw a brotha a life preserver for Pete’s sake!

(Thanks to those of you that helped me with your answers. I really, truly appreciate it.)

Tonight (or this morning depending on your view) I was watching a movie I recorded a while back and it got me thinking. Before you get sidetracked and wonder what the movie was… THAT is not important. However, I may delve into the subject matter at another time. I digress, during a shot in the movie the heroine was alone and under stress and the shot was just of her turned away and leaning against the wall. This got me wondering about what I do when I am alone. Over the past 8+ months I have had this big and empty house (except for my dogs) to myself. I find myself during times of stress and sorrow and every now and then brief happiness doing things I more than likely wouldn’t do if anyone else were here such as… staring out the window looking at the sunrise wondering why I am not asleep yet. Sitting against a wall all balled up in a semi empty room. Staring at the front door and really focusing on it wondering if (if not hoping) she would walk through it. Crying at the stupidest movies whether it’s a happy or sad part. During the happier times… Singing for no reason or dancing with my dogs. (Yeah, it’s odd. They’re too damn BIG.)

That brings me to my question to you: What do YOU do when no one is looking. Come on. Share with me! It’s all good in here.

Ok, here’s the deal. As some of you know, I am in the process of being single again for the first time in 11 years (Anniversary is this Thursday). Now this isn’t voluntary. I planned on being with Kristen this side of forever so I find myself at a loss.

That being said, I have passed the part of just going out and getting random ass. That happens when I have been drunk at a party or some such. Now I am looking to go out and cultivate new friendships and relationships. I just can’t do it. It’s so insane. I am an entertainer by trade and netcaster by hobby (making that a career though) so I speak for a friggin’ living. How can I not go out and speak to other people in other situations? I have made many new friends in the online 2.0 (yeah, I know) world but I.R.L. it has become crippling since deciding to care again. I have made plans and bailed. Hell, last night there was a single professionals mixer that I attended… for all of about 30 seconds. I took the time to looke nice, drive 30 minutes to a trendy place in Hyde Park and then I just flaked after 30 seconds. Even though I was expected, the pressure was unbearable. “What do I say? What do I do? Will they like me? Will I like them?” Things I didn’t used to give 2 squats about now made me run out of the bar like it was a Meg Ryan movie. (<- Queenie) Now I know it is mostly because what confidence I did have has been crushed. Now I have been in contact with the organizer from last eve and she was great. She wants me to try again. I may.

That brings me to my question to you. Those of you who spend your days at the job and nights mostly behind a computer monitor, or some combination of such, what do you do to meet people IRL? Are you as scared as I am? I said it. I’m SCARED! What do you do to get over it? What do you want to do to get over your fear? Shout it out!