Killer weekend! Beautiful water. Beautiful people!

I’ve been doing some single’s type things lately as someone in my situation is prone to do. I must say that as I am one of “the rejected”, I didn’t realize how… dire, for lack of a better word, the situation is. Now this may sound mean, maybe it’s just because I am looking for something different or out of my league, as it were, but the people I am running into are not really my type. I think. Maybe because I tend to hang out with a younger crowd or maybe because of the club job or because my STBXW is a bit younger that I just seem to prefer someone a little younger than I am. The single’s scene I have gotten myself into seems to be my age or older. Maybe my confidence is just so shaken that I have low self-esteem. Hell, maybe I’m just a mutant too. I gotta figure it out soon, though. Tired of being by myself. Maybe the motorcycle I am gonna get will help. (Can someone say compensate?)

Well, I am experiencing something for the first time in memory tonight, rejection. It’s a very odd sensation. I never really thought about it but I guess I don’t get told ‘no’ very often, for whatever reason. Maybe I’m relatively good at what I am doing or maybe I always have had a good sense of timing when asking for… whatever. Now ,mind you, this is in my personal life where many things are new to me again but this can and does transfer to other aspects of life as well. After taking the rest of my personal experience into account, I guess my question to you is this: Now what? How do you get back up? How do you do it again? Do you try the same thing at a different point? So many questions, I know. What are your answers?

“…wonders why it always feels like I’m waiting for something?” is a query that MissAttitude, a burgeoning new friend of mine, posted on Plurk. It made me think of what I am, what we all are waiting for. Even though it seems like we are all rush, rush, rush, it seems to me that we are all waiting on something. Be it something in our professional or personal lives, we are all waiting on somethiing. The right time, the economic level, someone else to make a decision are all factors in our waiting. The Alphas in life take the bull by the…. horns. (I know what you thought I was going to say. Dirty, dirty, dirty.) What keeps the majority of the population Betas? Lack of drive? Fear? Hell, I don’t know. If I did, I’d be rich now by selling my secrets. Now, I know not everyone will ever be an Alpha all the time but we can all take the lead at some time. Sack up, as they say. Control your own destiny. Take the first step and take the lead on something small. What your world change as you snowball into the big decisions. You can do it. I believe.

This weekend is about getting back up, dusting myself off and get it going again. “What the hell are you talking about, UltimateSteve?” Calm down, I’m getting to that. Sheeesh! I posted a while back in post EPSILON about my social anxiety and self-worth problems with trying to meet new people of the female persuasion, well I’m going to do it this weekend. On top of the rest of the full schedule that I have this weekend, see Daily Insider, I am going to another mixer with Touching Elbows. Hopefully this time will be more than 30 seconds! I’m gonna show up early this time and meet the organizer when the crowd is nil and ease into it. Actually I’m pretty excited but am going into chill. At least that’s the plan anyway.

If I can do this, YOU can do this. Don’t sit around the house this weekend. If there’s something you’ve wanted to do, don’t be afraid, Just do it. What’s there to be afraid of? Somebody won’t like you? You’re a great person. Eff ‘em! Make this weekend memorable. See you after the weekend!

Alright, what the hell does he mean by “Plastic Fantastic”?

How good of you to ask. Let me explain.

Well, what you know so far is that I am single again (God I HATE that song.) and dipping my toe back into the dating scene. What you may not know is that I am here in the Tampa Bay area of Florida where the majority of the pretty people, or those that THINK they are the pretty people, are more shallow that a Tupperware lid turned upside down and filled with water. Not really the greatest situation when you are looking for a more intelligent person to have a couple of dates, or more, with. Awesome, though, if you’re just in it to win it for the night. Don’t get me wrong, there ARE some quality people around. They just seem to be few and far between. Hell, maybe I just don’t know where to look. But whilst I am still in this area I’ll keep searching on. I guess my point to all of my rambling is: In a society that worships the rich or the famous just because they are famous, where the bank account, car and abs are the most important thing, what chance is there for a normal, but in-freakin’-credible, guy to find that ’someone’, if any?

Wow! That’s really all that I can say. I have FINALLY gotten off my keester and started living a bit. With all that has happened I have found the need to do new things so that I don’t turn the corner and see ‘her’ in everything. (Even though I do anyway.) To that end I have found different groups of people to engage in activities with. Done NEW and exciting stuff ranging from drum circles (which I love) to concerts to laser tag and even tubing down the river. There are just some days that I am having the best time. Most of these things are firsts for me. Now, I’m not saying it hasn’t been hard, it has. Even though some people think I am a social butterfly, I’m not. Maybe I was in a life that seems just this side of forever ago, it’s just not that way any longer. It has been rough putting myself out there. After my recent developments, I obviously have self worth issues. Who wouldn’t? But for the most part putting myself in these situations has been worth it. The glimpses of sanity, sunlight and happiness I have had, however brief, has been worth overcoming the fear of “getting out there”. I know it’s hard, believe me, I know. But get out there and try something new. The rewards are definitely high. Take that first step, it’s a doozy!

A couple of people around the webiverse, such as Gary Veynerchuk, have brought up the idea of personal branding as of late. It has really got me thinking about mine. As I look around mostly in the world I see so many people trying to fit themselves into an identity that just seems odd to me. Against their nature sort of thing. I hope it’s not because now I’m old and closed-minded. Those are things I rail against on a regular basis, but who knows maybe I am becoming a curmudgeon. I guess I should explain a little. This topic has been noodling around in my head for about a week and I guess I was just looking for inspiration. Anyway, I was getting gasoline here in rural Florida just outside of Tampa and this kid drives up in a big hoompty blasting his hardcore music. I dunno, to me it just seemed…. stupid. He has no idea of the trials that the rapper was spewing. Hell, the rapper more than likely has no idea of the trials he was rapping about. Sure, at one time it was the poetry of the streets. Now, it’s just another easily marketable type of music. Sorry. It is.

Anyway, this made me wonder how I see myself and how others see me as well. For more than a decade now, I have been “Steve the DJ” or “DJ Steve” or whatever name that was thrown on me to differentiate me from the ‘other’ Steve’s. That has really been it really. Other than that I was “Kristen’s husband, Steve”. Other than that, I don’t really know what I was. Since I am no longer the latter, I don’t really want to be the former either. I have done it long enough. It has run it’s course. Now it’s time for something new. What, I’m not completely sure. I have some good ideas. All based in this space. So what am I now? Just another webspace wannabe? Perhaps. But it’s time to create my new dream. Stake my claim. Plant my flag. Mark my turf. (I can’t think of anything other cliche’s.) Take my passions and combine them in a way that’ll blow your mind. (At least for a minute anyway.) I think I like this for my personal brand: Ultimate Steve, Emperor of the Omniverse. Hey, I gotta dream big!

Life is serious enough. LIGHTEN UP!

Seriously, there is a ton in our lives that weighs heavy upon us. If you’ve been reading previous posts, you know I am no different. Between being busy with work, kids & dogs (in my case), being constantly plugged in via computer, phone, IM, texting & TV and the major league curveballs that life throws at us at the least opportune times, life is damn hard. We, however, have to take the reigns and take control of ourselves. we need to not be so serious. Be silly at times. If you don’t, the top of your head may pop off from the pressure. Take time for fun. It will do wonders for your outlook and mood. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. I KNOW you’re already too busy. What brings me to this topic is that a “real world” friend of mine is also a “friend” on Plurk, a microblog has taken to doing a daily “plurk” called D.O.D.D. “Dumb Office Dare of the Day”. Today’s is: “Speak like an old-time gangster (think James Cagney) by adding “see!” to the end of phrases and sentences.” Yeah it seems kind of stupid but I guarantee you it’s FUN. Find something small it doesn’t have to be huge and time consuming. Make yourself smile. Make someone else smile. Make your universe fun. Life is too damned serious. LIGHTEN UP!

I find myself in a bit of a conundrum. This blog started off, in my head at least, as a repository for all things me. That means EVERYTHING I am into and doing. I now feel that this blog has become something else. A little heady, maybe even thought provoking (In my grand mind, anyway.). And as such I have been striving to stay on that path but am not sure that’s what I want THIS blog to be. Since it is still in it’s fledgling stages and let’s be honest, how many people are actually reading this…. YET, should I start a new blog continuing along this line and put UltimateSteve.com back on it’s original track. Let me know what you think.