I was going to stop writing about this topic for UltimateSteve.com as I am tired, really tired, of putting this out there. I feel like I am just whining over and over and not moving on. I know that isn’t the case. I do know that things take time. Maybe I’m putting this here for me or maybe for others as I have had some positive feedback indicating that I’m helping others. That was never the intent but if it helps you, I’m glad for that. Now on the the post…

As the title implies, I’m having a time dealing with the ups and downs of our divorce. Not a really hard time, but a time nonetheless. Most days are good. Hell, ALL days are more positive that not. It’s just those moments, those brief damnable moments in the day when a memory, a thought, a daily task, anything goes through my mind to make me think of either Kristen or my current situation. Like I said, I’m dealing with it. I’m not really sure how though. I wish I could pinpoint it so that it could help others or, more selfishly, so that I could use it everyday so that the lows wouldn’t be so low. (For those of you looking for answers, the ONE thing that I have found helpful over this year… KEEP BUSY! Especially try new things and meet new friends. It helps a ton.)

If you have been following me either here, my old starter blog (No, I’m not giving that out. It was all emotional claptrap anyway.) or some of the various social sites I’ve opened up on, you know that I haven’t been angry with her like maybe I should have been. Lately, however, I have been resentful of her and the way she did things, the way she left things. I’m angry that she is with someone else (from the start) and I’m left alone to pick up the pieces and attempt to rebuild my life form less than scratch. Now I know that, statistically, that is how women do this, ie. have the next relationship in place before ending the one before. (Now don’t flame me for this. Trust me, over this past year I have been doing research into this in my quest for the “why”.) I’m finding myself spitefully hoping that she gets to feel the way she has made me feel, alone. I hate wishing ill on her. It’s not really the way I am. Maybe it’s a part of the healing process, I don’t know. I guess when I’m all healed, I’ll let you know. KEEP READING! I hear that takes a long time.