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Epsilon: Alone In A Crowd

06.30.08 | 1 Comment

Ok, here’s the deal. As some of you know, I am in the process of being single again for the first time in 11 years (Anniversary is this Thursday). Now this isn’t voluntary. I planned on being with Kristen this side of forever so I find myself at a loss.

That being said, I have passed the part of just going out and getting random ass. That happens when I have been drunk at a party or some such. Now I am looking to go out and cultivate new friendships and relationships. I just can’t do it. It’s so insane. I am an entertainer by trade and netcaster by hobby (making that a career though) so I speak for a friggin’ living. How can I not go out and speak to other people in other situations? I have made many new friends in the online 2.0 (yeah, I know) world but I.R.L. it has become crippling since deciding to care again. I have made plans and bailed. Hell, last night there was a single professionals mixer that I attended… for all of about 30 seconds. I took the time to looke nice, drive 30 minutes to a trendy place in Hyde Park and then I just flaked after 30 seconds. Even though I was expected, the pressure was unbearable. “What do I say? What do I do? Will they like me? Will I like them?” Things I didn’t used to give 2 squats about now made me run out of the bar like it was a Meg Ryan movie. (<- Queenie) Now I know it is mostly because what confidence I did have has been crushed. Now I have been in contact with the organizer from last eve and she was great. She wants me to try again. I may.

That brings me to my question to you. Those of you who spend your days at the job and nights mostly behind a computer monitor, or some combination of such, what do you do to meet people IRL? Are you as scared as I am? I said it. I’m SCARED! What do you do to get over it? What do you want to do to get over your fear? Shout it out!

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