I am working today at my slave job. You know. The one I have to do as opposed to the one I am working towards because I want to. Unfortunately it is more of a slave job than you know. I’m doing something that many men around the world are jealous of. I am a strip club dj. Yeah, some people think it would be great. Some may think I’m a perv. I don’t really give two squats. To me it’s just a job. I make great money but because my wife thought it’d be a good idea to go be with someone else it’s just enough to get by in today’s world. (The one I’m in anyway.) It’s not really a job I like. I kept it because it was stable and it paid our bills and more when we had 2 incomes. I used it to put her through school again for another degree and then kept it until she could make enough to where I could do something else. Of course when that time came she decided to bail. Now, I’m stuck. (Same old story, huh?)

That’s not really what this post is about. It was meant to preface why I’m in a strip club in the middle of the day. I guess I got carried away. However, it may just tie in.

I am working a double today (having double the bills will do that) and I was watching a girl on stage. I don’t tend to really watch the girls. I have been doing this a loooong time and to me it’s just a job. Every now and then, however, there is one that catches my eye whether it be from them just dancing extremely well or just being that good looking. Well, when I did this today I noticed that I kept looking away from the girl on stage and watched her through one of the many mirrors that surround the room. When doing this, I realized that I have done that many times before with other girls. I guess I feel a little guilty when I look at them straight away because I’m their “safe” guy but in the mirror is ok. (Yeah, I thought it was stupid too.) But then I got to thinking that that seems to be the way a lot of people live their lives. Always looking through their periphery. Never taking on life “head-on”. Everyone always going around things rather than straight away. Like living life through a mirror. I know I’m guilty of it. I lived for quite some time vicariously through Kristen since I didn’t like what I was doing but loved that she loved what she was doing. Plus it was something I was interested in. Instead of taking the reigns and changing my situation, I wallowed in the fact the she didn’t reciprocate the help that I gave her. In my head we were partners and I felt she gave up on me. So, so did I. I should have just said the hell with it and done what I though was best, damn the consequences. The way things turned out, it couldn’t have hurt.

“Damn the consequences!” should be everyone’s mantra. It sure as hell is going to be mine. Straight on through ’til morning. Break all the mirrors! Do for you to make your life and the world in which you reside a better, happier place.